You've been staring at the clock since 6pm, counting down the minutes until bedtime, and now that happy moment when you tuck them in, wish them sweet dreams, and close the door is finally here. Do you dare to quiet your mind, or are you REALLY thinking this instead?
1. YES!!!!!
As much as you love them, the minute you close the door, you breathe a huge sigh of a relief and your heart does a selfish happy dance. You make a beeline for downstairs and pour yourself that humongous glass of vino you have so very much deserved and for now, kiss the kid stress goodbye. WOOP WOOP you are finally free!!!! Wahooooooo!
2. What Was That?!
As you creep downstairs, you hear murmurs, grumblings, burblings, and a random bump! Oh please no no no, don't let them try to reverse this sweet peace! You wonder whether you should have in fact tucked them in so tightly that they couldn't get out of bed come hell or high water. Are they really trying to get out of bed right now? Is that 'Mom!' you hear them calling? Or is it just your mind playing tricks on you? Please, please make them sleep!
3. Tomorrow WILL Be a Better Day
Today, your kids have literally been the living epitome of hell on legs, but tomorrow is a new day, and everyone will feel so much better after a good sleep and a fresh start to tomorrow. YEAH, RIGHT! About as likely as a month of Sundays. You just keep right on fooling yourself.
4. Bath Time!
Yes! You are going to bathe alone, in a beautiful bath, with decadent candles and an insane amount of bubbles and tonight, nobody...NOBODY can ruin this for you. That's nobody whining at the door to come in, or hitting each other over the head while you're trying to have a moment of sanity all to yourself. You got this, and it's all yours!
5. I Wish I Could Go to Bed Too
Seriously, you are so tired that you could fall right into bed and dribble with them. Is it too weird if you go to bed at the same time as your kids? You are literally salivating at the idea of star-fishing in your bed right now.
6. No More Jobs!!!
You've spent the whole day working your butt off as a personal chef, chauffeur, mediator, nurse, teacher, butt wiper, shopper, and play leader, plus every other responsibility that comes under your never-ending mom CV. Finally, yes FINALLY, there are NO MORE MOM JOBS!!!! Now you can begin your night shift as a regular person doing whatever you've already forgotten you love to do.
7. What's on The Tube?
By this point, you don't really even care which HBO show you blob in front of on the sofa, just so long as you get at least an hour of staring mindlessly at the TV like the zombie you are. Because that is the level of your brain function right now.
8. How Many Hours 'Til Tomorrow?
You might be safe for now but in less than 12 hours, the crazies are going to start all over again. Your chest tightens, your breath quickens as you panic at the thought of tomorrow's breakfast and school run. Life can be so cruel.
9. No Midnight Visitors Please
You say a little prayer for no scary monsters, crazy dreams, midnight wake ups, unexpected visitors in your bed, or early hours duvet throwing. Please let the sleep gods make this night a winner!
And then we do it all again the next day, and the next. Enjoy your shut eye while it lasts and get some rest, because tomorrow is errrr....a new day!
